


Is it My Fault?

by SapphicAndSarcastic



Series: The Life chronicles of Robin S [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Free Form Poetry, Grief, M/M, Mental Illness, Poetry, Self harm (implied), Suicide reference, homosexuality (implied)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-10-25 15:19:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10766952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphicAndSarcastic/pseuds/SapphicAndSarcastic
Summary: Ryan moves his senior year of highschool from Quebec, struggling to make friends and communicate, he meets Robin, an AP french student who becomes his first American friend. After a whirlwind year of romance, Ryan finally makes the choice to take his life. Set in New York. (All of this is just context, the poem is pretty straight forward).





	Is it My Fault?

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in freshmen year as part of an english project, so excuse the angst. The reference to "a revealing of sorts" is Robin asking Ryan to senior prom (I note this because my friends said that line was kind of confusing)

**Is it my fault?**

An empty chair isolates the classroom.

A sunrise opening on the horizon.

A new voice echoes in the hallways.

A language bars friendships from blooming.

A full attendance list and two fresh smiles.

A bell chirps and allows a bond to grow.

Fall comes and leaves snow down and then winter comes and snow falls like leaves.

Two sets of footprints mark the crisp backroads.

Music and love are the only things that need no translation.

Hymns in church ring in four ears and two hearts.

As the nights grow shorter their prayers grow longer.

"Forgive me father, for I have sinned".

Every verse counters a smile and every scripture drilled into them stifles a laugh.

Outings become a refuge and each homecoming brings shiny eyes at night.

In May, the rains fade and the sparkle in their eyes glow with the fireflies.

A velvet box in his pocket, the night is warm and the stars light his way.

A pebble against his window, a light, a rustling.

An open window, a ten foot jump to damp grass.

A perfect catch and a perfect tumble into someone else's garden.

A revealing of sorts, a smile, a nod, a silent dance and a promise.

But then July comes and smiles fade and kisses shorten to handshakes.

Long sleeves follow shame follow the taunting sunlight.

A paper rose is a folded note, each petal an apology.

A song is paused, a cloud passes over sunlight, dreamers are awoken and the world stops spinning.

A diamond and "I'm sorry"s litter the shining asphalt, tears blur the world into nothing but colors.

Colors fade to black and white as sneakers pound on the pavement.

Darkness falls and everything disappears.

His heartbeat is drowned out by loud cheers and crackles from the sky.

Fireworks illuminate the ring in his hands.

Fireworks reflect on the still water under the bridge.

Fireworks are the last thing he hears before the deafening plink of a promise sinking stops his reality.

Goodbye is the same in every language...

An empty chair isolates the classroom.

A sunset closes on the horizon.

Silence echoes in the hallways.

" _I loved you_ ".


End file.
